Xmas Curses

It's that time of year again. Yes I know Hallowe'en hasn't been and gone yet but apparently everyone needs to give us horribly gendered and ageist present recommendations! Yay for us!

Amazon thinks Mums like perfume, clothing accessories and easy listening. Dads just love bestselling electronics (illustrated with a Kindle - obviously a man thing), golf gear and whisky. Grandpas are the real losers, poor bastards, they get Crossword solvers, aftershave and socks. At least Grandmas get mystery books to enliven the umbrellas and foot care products. Umbrellas? Because every Grandma needs more than one. Stylin' it Granny needs one for every outfit.

Apparently as a Wife I like romantic comedy (you can fuck right off), earrings (ok, maybe, depending) and straighteners (er, no) and my Dear Husband would like a compact camera (only if he's allowed to take pictures of my arse with it), multi-tools (admittedly convenient for impromptu torture) and watches (er, no. Why does he need one when he has a mobile phone with the time on it? Who gives fuck if Pierce Brosnan is advertising it? Who the hell's Pierce Brosnan anyway?).

Hang on a moment...  it looks like Husband and Dad with their electronics are having a whole lot more spent on them than Wife And Mum. You bastards. Of course Grandma and Grandad can make do with stuff from the pound shop. They're old.

Fuck easy listening and romantic comedy. But not mystery books, they rock.

***

Please excuse me while I find a wall to beat my head against for a short while.

Medieval Fayre-ee Tales

Yesterday afternoon I wandered down to the Medieval Fair we have annually in Colchester, the Oyster Fayre. I forgot my camera, as per bloody usual. It's lots of fun - some serious re-enactmentyness, some random hippyness plus real ale. Can't go wrong really. This year I was by myself and went for just the afternoon so didn't see as much of the puppetry, mumming, falconry, archery etc as some years although I did peruse the stalls fairly thoroughly (no surprise there, then). I had my runes read for a laugh and recieved food for thought.


Pan's Pantry, my favourite incense suppliers were there and I bought some of the aptly named 'God's Smile' incense. I love this stuff. A few years back I discovered the joy of loose incense, thanks to their stall at Oyster Fayre and am now an incense snob as well as a beer snob. To be honest I find the loose incense rather less convenient than sticks, so don't use it as much as I'd like and have a box full of baggies of loose incenses. It's not a small box either. I'd take a picture but frankly it's a bit embarrassing and the box is a pain to move out into the light.

I was pointed to the stall of Viking Kristall by a friend I bumped into who had succumbed to some seriously beautiful viking silver jewellery. I managed to avoid the charms of the silver and fell for the bronze instead:

The spear heads are beautiful, speaking of war and weaponry and yet their leaf shapes recall nature too. The spear is the special weapon of Odin, and yet also the weapon of the common soldier. Cast over the heads of the enemy it began battles in Odin's name. And yet there's the leaf there too. I love that juxtaposition, though I know it was probably not intended by the maker. It feels very Heathen to me.